Can Will Does

This is one of my older posts...I am hoping to have some new submissions soon! If you are interested, it can be an old blogpost that you are fond of..or a new piece..or a place for anyone who doesn't want the responsibility of a blog to tell their story...

"Veni, Vidi, Vici"

Julius Caesar



I didn't know just how determined he was. I should have suspected something seeing as how he was fully dressed when I came downstairs this morning. Sammy is a slow starter in the morning-a really slow starter. Frozen molasses runs faster than he does. So I should have noticed that he was up, dressed and ready to go...or at least commented on it. But, I had things to do. Sammy had a basketball game, and getting everyone dressed, fed, and out the door takes monumental effort-and at least two cups of coffee. Sometimes more..o.k. actually most times more.


Sammy plays on one of his school basketball teams. It is actually a nice set up. There are about six co-ed teams of third through fifth graders. The focus is primarily on teaching the game rather than on competition. They practice once a week and every Saturday there is a game. Today was the last game of the season. So I was pretty happy...alright, I admit it..I was thrilled. Monday through Friday I rush every morning to get them out the door and onto the bus. Do they have hats, jackets, snow pants, lunch, backpacks, clean faces... sigh..it's always rush rush rush...So the idea of getting back one of the mornings where I don't have to do anything.. well...it's thrilling.

This is Sammy's third year of playing for a team. Sadly, it will probably be his last. Next year, in sixth grade they hold try-outs...and I don't think he'll make a team. He has some large motor skills issues. Although he is a speed demon on his bicycle..running and dribbling a ball is very challenging to him. He doesn't life his feet off the ground when he runs..add a basketball and the results are..well, he struggles. Don't get me wrong-he has improved immensely since third grade. The first year he played, if he saw one of is friends on the opposing team, he would stop to hug them. The second year, anytime he got the ball, he would break down laughing in the middle of the court. This year though... this year he was different. He was focused. He concentrated on defending his basket, and in passing the ball. In fact the minute he got the ball, he would pass it- immediately. My Sammy is tough, but he isn't aggressive. For him, I think it was more about just playing and being part of a team, rather than scoring. Until today that is.



Today he was driven..like a dog with a bone. Come hell or high water, he was going to score. And nothing was going to get in his way. First quarter-Sammy gets the ball..there is no room to move..he is so focused, so set on shooting..he bounces the ball with both hands and walks three feet to the basket..and shoots! and misses..He looks at me-I give him a thumbs up. Second quarter, he gets the ball..he shoots! he misses..it rebounds off the backboard, he grabs the ball he shoots! he misses..He looks at me, I give him a thumbs up. Third quarter..he's fouled, goes to the line..he shoots! he misses...he gets fouled again he shoots! he misses..he gets passed the ball..he shoots! he misses..he gets passed the ball again..he shoots! he misses..My boy must have attempted to score at least twenty times..and every time, he looks at me, and every time I give him a thumbs up...by now everyone has noticed..and is rooting for him...his team mates..the opposite team..the audience..everyone wants him to score. His determination is contagious..The tension was palpable..(I was a wreck) I don't think that there was a person there that wasn't captivated. They can see how badly he wants this. How hard he is trying.. it is no longer about watching the game....or about disability...or the fact that my boy is autistic..it is about Sammy. It is about my boy wanting to make a basket. In the fourth quarter, with thirty seconds left in the game...his team mate gets the ball..he could have scored easily..gotten the glory..instead.. he passes it to Sammy..I hear him say in a matter of fact way.."You CAN do this Sammy"...as if it is no big deal...as if it is just a common every day thing..as if he expects no less. Sammy takes the ball..and shoots..in what felt like slow motion .. it goes up..up..and then ...Swish...nothing but net. Everyone cheers in excitement...and relief! My boy looks at me..he is shining.. I give him a thumbs up-(even though I wanted to rush down and grab him and hug him.-but a mother doesn't do that to an eleven year old boy, especially in public) he runs to finish the game with the rest of his team.


The cynical and jaded part of me could say "oh, how nice..yet another "autistic kid makes a basket..the crowd erupts" story. But that wasn't it at all. Sammy has been at this school since he was seven years old. He is an accepted part of his class. Those kids didn't pass him the ball because of his disabilities..but because he was part of the team. Sigh... Sometimes, I need to remove my sarcastic self from the picture. Because sometimes a game is just a game..and a kid is just a kid. Today my kid was determined. He came, he saw, he conquered because he can..he will and he does. How's that for awareness?

A beautiful little story from Missy...

My little 3 year old boy has autism. He is pretty much non-verbal. After getting on his school bus the other day, he turned and said to me... "a-bye" (aka "good bye") That little word put a huge smile on my face and my tears came gushing. What a little but huge thing to be so happy about! He sure is making strides with talking lately.

A new blog from and a post from Rob..

First, let me introduce myself. My name is Rob. I am a 27 year old Michigan male. I am not your average guy, as i am living with a dual diagnosis of ADHD and PDD-NOS. Life has not been easy. But, i manage :). I have made TREMENDOUS strides toward independence in the last few years. For example, i have my driver's liscence. And, believe it or not, i am 1 and a half weeks away from graduating from COLLEGE. Yes, that's right..when all is said and done, i will have a Bachelor's degree and an Associate's degree.. The Bachelor's being Sociology with a social services concentration, and an Associate's in Social Work.




That in itself is a tremendous accomplishment. But, it gets better. During my college career, in the summer of 2007, i got the opportunity to study abroad. In Shanghai, China, of all places. Yes, that's China, as in the other side of the world, as in the most populous nation in the world. I studied at Shanghi University for 4 weeks, taking courses in chinese religion, language, art, architecture, and literature. There was some languge instruction..but it wasnt lot of it..my formal introduction to the Chinese language itself came a year later, in the fall of 2008.



That brings me to my blog...i would be honored if you would list it along with the other blog links on your site, as you have done for Scott Lynn's comic. the address is http://ppd-nossocmajor.blogspot.com and the tite is "Soc Major with PDD-NOS."



If you did this favor for me, it would help increase traffic to my fairly new blog..and it could help others more by leading by example.. that it IS possible to live a somewhat normal life with autism specturum disorder

From Scott Lynn..You have to check out his blog!

This is just one example of the many wonderful cartoons found on Scott Lynn's blog. It is worth your while to go check it out-and enjoy. It is called "on the spectrum...find it at   WW W.otscomic.blogspot.com

From Sirenity at www.notragedyhere.blogspot.com

Its a typical day




"Muuuummmmmm!!!!!! Muuummmmm!!!! Guuuueessssss what I have!!!"



I look over and see my youngest child waving his arms at me, papers in one hand, Science Fair Medal in the other. He is bouncing on his toes in excitement.



Glancing around I see several other children doing simular versions of the 'Mommy look at me" dance.



As little man heads towards me several kids stop and talk to him. One child in particular walks him the rest of the way to the car. I try to smother a grin, Little Man is still not sure about this friend. This friend is a GIRL and she has informed him, myself and all that will listen that she fully intends to be Little Man's girlffirend if he would only LISTEN TO HER!



Little man gets to the car, tolerates a light hug from me then pushes me away with 'that look' that all boys seem to get at this age.



"Moom guesssss what!!!" He yells at me.

"Can I come over today" Interrupts his gal pal.

"I'm talking first!" Little man turns on her, very serious. "When having conversations you should let each person have their turn without interrupting."

"Mom guess what?!" He restarts.

Me, laughing, " What? Did you win the Nobel Prize?"

"Mom, I have not submitted anything for THAT contest. I have to make a bridge!"



(Turns out the excitement was not for the B he received for the FIRST story he has written without a scribe, or for the medal for his science fair project. Rather, he was excited because he found a science club. And this club has a contest. With 100 popsicle sticks you must build a bridge that spans 24 inches. Whoever builds the bridge that withstands the most weight wins a cash prize and an article in their magazine.



And let me tell you, Little Man can build things.)



Regardless, his gal pal comes over, they ride bikes with Big Sister going with them.

Its a day like any other, really-regardless of his disabilities, his labels of ADHD, PDD-NOS and Pragmatic disorder.



Yes there are bad days. Days when he can't focus, he is frustrated and angry. Days when he has struggled hard with social situations at school and is tearful and confused.



But my home is filled with love and laughter, all of my children are healthy and have warm and giving hearts. I would not trade away Little Man's autism, I am not willing to live wihtout bunny humour, bee events and the innovative thought process he has.

Just as I would not trade The Princess's artisitc ability or leadership (sometimes known as bullying) personality skills

looking for submissions...

Anyone who has a story, idea, anecdote, thought, opinion, adventure, point of view..I'm looking for submissions!

That which does not kill me makes me thankful

Here is another one from my blog. It is one of the first posts I ever wrote for www.autismherd.blogspot.com I hope some more people will write for this one!


That which does not kill me makes me thankful...



Girls! Leave the table cloth on the table...no it is NOT a cape!

put it on the table..THE TABLE not your HEAD!

It's for Thanksgiving....Why? because it makes the table pretty...

No it is not a sheet! It is a Table Cloth...FOR THE TABLE!

THAT'S IT! If you touch it again, you won't have cookies UNTIL YOU ARE 47! "


Thus begins our Thanksgiving celebration. Like most families, we gather around the table to feast on Turkey and all the sides. The only exception being that our holiday feast includes frozen pizza. Frozen pizza, because that is one of the five things that my boys will eat, and they had already met their quota of peanut butter and jelly for the week.


Thanksgiving is often a time for family traditions. One of my children's favorite traditions is arguing over where they will sit. Actually, they do this at most meals. It just seems more festive on Thanksgiving being that there is a table cloth involved. My tradition is to ask everyone what they hope the next year will bring, and what they are thankful for. The answers from my kids vary from "I hope the next year brings toys", "I am thankful for toys" to "why is this sheet on the table? " and "I am thankful for this sheet". I try and set a good example by saying that I am thankful for my family, for having this wonderful feast and that I hope that the next year is as wonderful as this one has been. I am also secretly thankful that the table cloth is still on the table.


This year we we did things differently. As per my oldest son Sammy's school assignment, we were to go around the table and give thanks for things we wouldn't normally be thankful about. For example, being thankful for a mortgage, because it meant we had a roof over our heads, or being thankful for homework because it meant that you were learning. Sammy turned to me and said "I'm thankful for you mama." and continued to eat his pizza. Now I could take that one of two ways...he either didn't understand the assignment or he equates me with the mortgage. My ego chose the former.


As I later pondered the idea of this assignment, I asked myself what am I truly thankful for? The obvious things of course, we have a house, a steady income, four unique children, two of which happen to have an asd. What would I normally not think to be thankful for? Should I be thankful for autism? It has shaped who we all are. How we behave, how we think. Wasn't it Nietzsche who said "That which does not kill you makes you stronger"?( Then again, Nietzsche wasn't a stay at home mom.) On one hand, how could I possibly be thankful for something that has at times caused my boys such angst, and on the other, that angst has in part made them the incredible people that they are. From their struggle, we have all grown. I know that I am a better parent-a better person. I take little for granted, and I have much joy. For that, I give thanks.

That night, while I was tucking Sammy in, he once again said that he was thankful for me. I asked him why? He said "Mama, you help me to learn so I can grow up to be a good adult."and I thought, right back at you Sammy, right back at you. He did understand the assignment-it was me who got it wrong. Yet another thing to be thankful for.
And so another Thanksgiving has passed. There was a wonderful turkey, thought provoking conversation....and the table cloth stayed on the table. All in all, a great success- AND I still have a few weeks to figure out how to keep the GIRLS OFF OF THE CHRISTMAS TREE!