The rules

There has got to be common ground. I have started this blog to give people a place to tell their stories...positive stories . Too often we are mired down in the hows and whys, causes and cures. It is easy to forget that we are talking about people. One of the misconceptions that I have run into is that because I have children with disabilities-I am not allowed to have joy-nor are my children allowed to be joyful. Some of the comments I have received after relaying a funny story or anecdote...well you would think I had been kicking kittens.
So here are the rules. Anyone can submit a story,OR just a couple of sentences,OR a list of five great things either about their children or themselves. It must be positive, There will be no discusion of causes, cures, treatments, etc. There are more than enough places for that. Mean people will be deleted. If you are interested in taking part in this adventure please submit your story to kickingkittens@live.com please no pictures or video-lets keep it simple.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

That which does not kill me makes me thankful

Here is another one from my blog. It is one of the first posts I ever wrote for www.autismherd.blogspot.com I hope some more people will write for this one!


That which does not kill me makes me thankful...



Girls! Leave the table cloth on the table...no it is NOT a cape!

put it on the table..THE TABLE not your HEAD!

It's for Thanksgiving....Why? because it makes the table pretty...

No it is not a sheet! It is a Table Cloth...FOR THE TABLE!

THAT'S IT! If you touch it again, you won't have cookies UNTIL YOU ARE 47! "


Thus begins our Thanksgiving celebration. Like most families, we gather around the table to feast on Turkey and all the sides. The only exception being that our holiday feast includes frozen pizza. Frozen pizza, because that is one of the five things that my boys will eat, and they had already met their quota of peanut butter and jelly for the week.


Thanksgiving is often a time for family traditions. One of my children's favorite traditions is arguing over where they will sit. Actually, they do this at most meals. It just seems more festive on Thanksgiving being that there is a table cloth involved. My tradition is to ask everyone what they hope the next year will bring, and what they are thankful for. The answers from my kids vary from "I hope the next year brings toys", "I am thankful for toys" to "why is this sheet on the table? " and "I am thankful for this sheet". I try and set a good example by saying that I am thankful for my family, for having this wonderful feast and that I hope that the next year is as wonderful as this one has been. I am also secretly thankful that the table cloth is still on the table.


This year we we did things differently. As per my oldest son Sammy's school assignment, we were to go around the table and give thanks for things we wouldn't normally be thankful about. For example, being thankful for a mortgage, because it meant we had a roof over our heads, or being thankful for homework because it meant that you were learning. Sammy turned to me and said "I'm thankful for you mama." and continued to eat his pizza. Now I could take that one of two ways...he either didn't understand the assignment or he equates me with the mortgage. My ego chose the former.


As I later pondered the idea of this assignment, I asked myself what am I truly thankful for? The obvious things of course, we have a house, a steady income, four unique children, two of which happen to have an asd. What would I normally not think to be thankful for? Should I be thankful for autism? It has shaped who we all are. How we behave, how we think. Wasn't it Nietzsche who said "That which does not kill you makes you stronger"?( Then again, Nietzsche wasn't a stay at home mom.) On one hand, how could I possibly be thankful for something that has at times caused my boys such angst, and on the other, that angst has in part made them the incredible people that they are. From their struggle, we have all grown. I know that I am a better parent-a better person. I take little for granted, and I have much joy. For that, I give thanks.

That night, while I was tucking Sammy in, he once again said that he was thankful for me. I asked him why? He said "Mama, you help me to learn so I can grow up to be a good adult."and I thought, right back at you Sammy, right back at you. He did understand the assignment-it was me who got it wrong. Yet another thing to be thankful for.
And so another Thanksgiving has passed. There was a wonderful turkey, thought provoking conversation....and the table cloth stayed on the table. All in all, a great success- AND I still have a few weeks to figure out how to keep the GIRLS OFF OF THE CHRISTMAS TREE!

4 comments:

denise said...

New blog, yeah!

The girls climb on the christmas tree? They must be really tiny delicate little girls-lucky you! I think if either of my kids had ever tried that, the tree would have got them off all by itself-by promptly falling over :)

[ I am also wondering how the dogs act when L&Z do this forbidden tree climbing...just picturing them grabbing the girls by the hems of their nightgowns and trying to drag them away from the dangers of falling trees, or Mom's wrath. Can you take a picture for us this year? Please? You could post it as the 'rare tree monkeys of the American Northeast' or something....maybe even throw up a wikipedia page for fun]

[p.s.-the word twist to post this comment was 'alothels'.....I guess Hawaiin prostitutes don't know how to behave around indoor xmas decor either ;) ]

kathleen said...

HA HA! :) No my girlie girls aren't delicate!! They stand on the arm of the couch, and reach into the tree-knocking it over. Funny, before we had kids...we had cats. Every year we would have to anchor the tree to the wall so the cats wouldn't knock it down when they climbed it..some things just don't change do they? This year...I am anchoring the tree again...we're thinking of using Hawaiin prostitutes! :)

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